College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
We need a shit load of segways right now
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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