You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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