go do what you do best...puke behind churches
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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