I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Found the puke drawer
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
