he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Boobs speak an international language.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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