do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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