You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize