rhymes with "ouble enetration"
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
