omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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