So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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