But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
