I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Randomize
