Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Randomize