Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
