I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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