haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
