where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
