Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Is it because I queefed?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
