my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
