the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
