what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
