new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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