dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
