no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
