new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
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