she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
