Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
