i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
