No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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