so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize