I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize