Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
She told me I should be a condom model.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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