Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
