We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
