my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
