I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize