I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
