he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize