i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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