But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Randomize
