First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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