ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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