i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Randomize
