I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
