Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
