belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
