If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
