i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
