I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
But theres a keg here and me gusta
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
