You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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