it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
