bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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