I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
