The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
