It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
