Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
