is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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