haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
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