dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
