It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
