our cab driver is having phone sex.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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