She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
