Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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