You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Randomize
