I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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