He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
