You really coming over, don't trick.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
