hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize