I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
