I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
