this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
