i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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