If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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